Humanity First

                These are times when India is facing a bit more number of threats to its sovereignty than we’re probably used to. At least as far as my knowledge goes, I haven’t seen the media report Chinese and Pakistani incursions or any other threats from these countries at the same time. Also, the internal security challenges aren’t on the decline either. It’s as though we’re disintegrating, we’re recognising our differences but these external threats are keeping us somehow weakly glued. I recently read in an article the divide between Hindus and Muslims, North Indians and South Indians and between other social groups is increasing. The ‘Unity in Diversity’ has been remained to a bookish phrase. Is this a problem? I say yes. Is there a solution? Yes, but trying to forget our differences and suddenly unite won’t help. It will never even happen. If the branches start to dry up, perhaps the roots need to be diagnosed.

                As a kid I had a read a story about two pen pals, one from India and another from Japan. In one of the letters, the Indian friend writes that in India, people are Indians first and then Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jains, Sikhs, etc. It’s a good start and we can go a step further. The BJP too should be appreciated for positioning themselves as a party of development instead of religion and caste (I am not a bhakt). I think instead of saying that we are Indians first and then whatever our religions may be, perhaps we should not talk about our religions at all. Religions were not created by a God. They are human inventions, meant to moralise the society. They are just a guideline to living but they’ve now become fearful forces. As long as I respect you, does it matter how I do it? By bowing down to you with my hands folded or with a handshake? As long as I don’t eat from your plate and leave you starving, does it matter what I eat and how much of it? Does it matter what I wear or how I speak? It actually does matter, though it shouldn’t. And it will continue to matter for as long as we have multiple religions in the world. This is one of the fundamental flaws of our society. The other being the root cause behind division of Earth. Well, it’s needed for administrative purposes, but that’s not the reason it was done. The real cause behind this division is greed. Greed of one particular person or a handful who’ve managed to brain wash the masses into believing their so called just cause. Now, one can’t really eradicate greed, it’s a part of human nature but what one can do is be a human being before being any other thing. By putting humanity before nationalities and religion will help solve a great deal of our problems. Believing that we’re human beings first and then Indians, Pakistanis, Chinese, Americans, etc. will reduce the number of wars to a great extent if not erase them completely. Would we really need religion then? Wouldn’t it make God happier to see that we’re following the principles of humanity, we’re doing what basically every religions asks for instead of praying? Or his God so egomaniacal that he/she would punish us for not praying? And when we think of God, wasn’t he/she created by us humans too? The basic problem lies in our incapability to accept opinions different from ours. We classify everything into good and bad, whereas opinions are just opinions. But this is a deeper problem, perhaps at the DNA level and hence it’ll take us centuries to even try to resolve it but we can find a common ground today. The common ground of all of us being human beings. Because what really classifies a person into a particular religion was created by humans. It did not occur naturally. The clothes we wear, the languages we speak, our names, our grooming habits were all created by humans. What did occur naturally was birth of a human being. A baby isn’t born with a particular religion, he/she is just born a human being. Perhaps it’s time to look back at our roots, look back to what really defines us, our humanly created differences or the common ground of humanity.

BEING ALONE

I feel good being alone

An unperturbed flow of thoughts of you

Just a remembrance of your face

Of your smile across those lips

I feel good being alone

The urge to keep you impressed

Washing away my mind's useless chatter

Oh! The dimples, the abyss I could live in

To keep you laughing 

Whether I keep you or not

The spirituality of your voice

Like wind over a lonely beach

Peace my heart now knows

Meditating with liberosis

I feel good being alone

A Meeting

A majority of people have never met themselves. They are a complete mystery to themselves and spend no time and effort to solve the mystery. I recently took a quiz to understand my ‘personality’. I don’t know what algorithm was used to discover my personality for me, I don’t know if it was reliable or even safe. Now I think that the time I spent looking outside, asking someone else about who I am and how I am, could’ve been spent asking these questions to myself. Yes, taking a quiz is more convenient and definitely time saving but is it accurate at all? Asking someone else about us, using our five senses, which are all outward looking, is it a reliable way to discover oneself? Before we dig into this, why should we even know ourselves?

Yes, it helps in job interviews but even there our answers are fabricated to suit the needs of the interviewer. I remember borrowing answers to this question from my friends. We were all honest and smart-working with an eye for detail and constantly pushed ourselves to exceed expectations. I am sure we were not the only ones. Of the many problems that such a response would create one is that there will be a vast disconnect between the job requirements and the capability of the candidate. And such responses are then mimicked in our lives as well, creating a vast difference between reality and perception. This not only leaves us confused but also suppresses our potential. A person who doesn’t know himself/herself will never know what they are capable of, what the goal of their life is, what path they should take to be successful in life. They’ll be just a broken log in a flood.

But knowing oneself, the process itself is fascinating. Well, for one, you are bound to find yourself cool. If you don’t then, aren’t you cool enough that you find yourself less cool? Get it? It’s a paradox. Just imagine talking to yourself, looking at yourself, what are you wearing? How are you feeling? How do you look? Ask questions that you would ask a stranger who you want to be friends with. Don’t think before answering, you’ll be fascinated with your own answers. That’s you telling yourself who you are, what you like and dislike, what you want to do, what you are good at and the dreaded interview questions like your strengths and weaknesses. You may write down your answers as well if you like, so you can revisit them later and remind yourself of…well…yourself.

It was one of the best meetings I had when I met myself. A lot of pretensions were cleared and I got to know what I didn’t know that I didn’t know. The ideas by which I had been living my life were shattered and it wasn’t the end of the world. For once, I faced the truth and accepted it without colouring it with my own perceptions. For once, there was no gap between reality and perception and I felt like I had meditated. It was like finding a long lost friend.

Mulakat Khud Se

Din ki khamoshi mein
Raat ke sannate mein
Mulakat hui khud se, jo rubaru hua
Jana kitna tanha chhod diya tha khud ko
Jisse dur bhaga, wo hubahu hua

Mili mujhey khushi aise
Kaha ho apna kisi ne barso baad jaise
Ayi sharm gham ka thaame haath
Jab pehli baar khud se pyar hua

Raund deti hain hawayein zindagi ki
Unhe jo bheed me chala karte hain
Jee to raha tha saalon se main
Khud se milke fir bhi naya janam hua

Bohot tha dar aane wale kal ka mujhey
Wo kal jise mujhey hi banana tha
Jo dekha kal ko khali kitaab sa
Toh jo maine likha, bas wo hua

The Philosophy of Science

If you’ve ever felt that the reason for your existence is much more than just the chemistry and biology governing natural organisms, you have at some point pondered about the purpose of life (most probably in the shower). And this must have got you a little excited and in that tiny moment, epiphany strikes and you have got yourself the ultimate life goal. It fills one with energy and one starts to question everything one does. Everything, every activity, has to push one towards that goal. One can already see oneself as the leader of the masses (or a cult), changing the world and making it a better place. But that excitement and energy vanishes with the moment (or lasts for as long as one is in the shower). But history can’t stop boasting of stories in which this excitement and enthusiasm lasted for much longer periods of time, long enough to change the world.

Not all eureka moments have to do something with great discoveries and award winning inventions. The greatest invention on Earth is life and the greatest discovery for any living organism would be to find its purpose. To quote Buddha, ‘The trouble is, you think you have time’ when the fact is that time is passing by every second. A second doesn’t seem like a lot of time when we think that we have hours, days, months and years to live. But it becomes dangerously significant if we think about what can happen in a second. A sperm cell may take a day or so to find the egg, but it takes about a second to fertilise it, thus creating life. When the baby comes out of the womb, it takes a second to cut the umbilical cord, detaching the baby from the mother and welcoming a new creature in this world. The baby can spend years trying to learn to talk, but it is in that one second that the first word is uttered and one of the most powerful tools, speech, takes birth. Same goes with walking and other chores in life. It’s in a second that rings are exchanged and two people become a couple and it’s also in a second that life finally leaves the body. People (including me) waste a lot of time. The amount of time people spend on doing something they love are like moments compared to amount of time spent on doing something they’re not passionate about, or worse, even hate. A passionate musician might have to work as an accountant to support himself but should it be considered a waste of time if he/she spends a minute dreaming about him/her playing an instrument that is moving and touching people around him/her? I’d say working as an accountant is actually a waste of time. Because that way, the musician will never be inspired to use all his/her energy to spend life doing what he/she truly loves.

It is sad to see people thinking that life is about birth, education, job/business, supporting family, dying. Every human being has the responsibility to live a passionate life. And science has sort of started to believe it too. According to quantum mechanics, the state of an electron (particle or wave) depends on the act of measurement or observation. During the double split experiment (please google it, details of this are beyond the scope of this article), the dual nature of electrons was discovered. But what was also discovered was that the electron happened to change its nature depending on whether it was being observed or not. Another surprising discovery was that, whenever and wherever the scientists tried to find the electron, it appeared there and when they didn’t try to find it, it was nowhere. It was as if, the electron existed everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. This means life presents itself the way we want to see it, as a wave or as a particle. Life is everything we believe it to be and is nothing else whatsoever including all the joys and pains. Now, if you apply this principle to your life, you will always find what you really look for and when you’re not looking, there’s nothing to be found. So if you feel that there’s no way that you could follow your passions, look again at yourself. Why can’t you live passionately? Look for that metaphorical electron called will in yourself and you will find why you can and you should.

Now, following one’s dreams seems like a big risk due to fear of failure. What if I don’t make it is the one question that has destroyed more lives than wars. But there’s science here too. According to another concept called entanglement in quantum mechanics, there’s a pair of electrons which are entangled to each other. If separated, even by the distance equal to the width of the universe, the entanglement is strong as ever. This was found to be true in an experiment in which the electrons were separated by a distance of 143 kilometres and were subjected to different physical instances like rotation, movement, stress, etc. The effects on one electron had an effect on the other as well. No matter the distance, the result was the same. One of the reasons behind this could be that before the Big Bang happened, everything in the universe was condensed at one single point. Everything was actually one. The explosion caused the condensed mass to disintegrate and spread away. It’s like a single cake was cut into different pieces. But that doesn’t mean that the pieces are different types of cakes. They are all one. Similarly, everything in the universe is connected, entangled. Every little action we take has an effect. So be afraid, but not of failure. Every action taken towards one’s dream, towards living a life full of passion, will have an effect. Doesn’t matter whether you see the results immediately or not, but the only result that matters is the satisfaction you will receive and the peace that you will experience. You will live a life that you love and love is all that the world needs.

SUREST WAY TO MIRACLES EVERY MOMENT

How many of us believe in miracles? Don’t worry, it’s not going to be a teenage girl’s journal entry. So, how many of us believe in miracles? I guess most of us do, or have started to. The world around us has changed quite dramatically (for the better or worse, depending on perspective) which isn’t so short of a miracle. But how many of us just can’t stop experiencing them every moment? A lot of hands have gone down, haven’t they? (Sorry, I write as if I am speaking to a live audience).

Well, let me tell you, miracles happen every moment. The degree of impact may vary but they do happen. I’m going to give you two examples here of “actual” miracles and then explain how these happen all the time.

Example 1: It’s the peak morning time and as usual I’m waiting for my train at one of the railway stations of Mumbai. The train arrives and before it can halt, people have started jumping in. Now, I am not new to this Sparta like phenomenon and hence I try to get in too. But I’m pushed aside, so hard, that I fall on the platform. I get back up and with the same resolve, I get inside the train and guess what, find myself a seat. A true miracle, any Mumbaikar would say.

Example 2: I and my flatmate have rented a new house in Mumbai. The owner asks us to meet him at short notice. Due to his insistence we leave early from office only to wait for him for 2 hours at the meeting point. He arrives with a list of questions (literally) and the viva begins. From his questions it’s clear that he thinks of us no less than a bunch of underground gangsta rappers. His broker brings up a clause to be included in the rent agreement which I and my flatmate are not comfortable with, but will doubly protect the interests of the owner. He asks his broker to not force the clause on us. A miracle!

Now, these 2 incidents may seem like a miracle because as laymen, we understand miracles to be unexpected welcome events which do not happen all the time. Well, by that definition, isn’t the non-occurrence of certain events which do not happen all the time, miracles too? Non-occurrence of earthquakes or other natural calamities? Non-occurrence of a terrorist attack at some place? These do not happen all the time and their non-occurrence causes a welcome event. Imagine your flight is about to land and there’s an earthquake on the runway. This is not a miracle, it’s an unfortunate event. But the non-occurrence of such an event would cause a welcome event of a smooth landing. But yet, we don’t call a smooth landing a miracle either. That’s because, we give far too much importance to rarely occurring welcome events as compared to others. The significance of common welcome events is so less that we’re not even aware of them. Isn’t it a miracle that you’re breathing right now? You’re not aware of it, you’re not even trying, but you are alive. Isn’t it a miracle that your dog, who’s probably stronger and more agile than you, is your loyal friend and not a predator who can eat you when you’re sleeping? Yes, dogs are programmed that way by nature (and genetic engineering) but aren’t all miracles? Isn’t it a miracle that the human race is still going strong, after two world wars and so many others? Isn’t it a miracle how Earth has all the life supporting elements in the exact right amounts? Isn’t it a miracle that you’re on the beach and there’s no tsunami? Isn’t it a miracle that your breathing doesn’t suddenly stop? Or despite all the terrorism, which has been occurring since decades, you’re feeling safe right now?

We’ve never acknowledged these things, have we? Why? Because we take the present for granted, despite it being a very serious thing, the only true thing. We’re obsessed with the future. It takes a major event, a jolt perhaps, to make us realise the importance of the present. The present is the only moment we have all the control over. We’re losing control every moment and we don’t know if we’ll still have it in the next. But in the present moment, we are completely in control. It’s not bad to plan for the future, but to live in it, that’s terrible. That’s like Virat Kohli worrying about the ICC 2019 World Cup because he may have to lead the Indian Cricket team then. One doesn’t make 24 international hundreds in 161 innings worrying like that. Even this is a miracle.

To conclude, miracles are happening every moment because every moment is happening for us. There would be no miracle if we were dead. Being alive is a miracle itself with all the wars, terrorism, diseases, stress and so much more. The only way to witness miracles every moment is to live every moment. Mere acknowledgement of every moment will surely cause a miracle, because miracles don’t happen once in a while, they happen when you look for them, just like the electron in the double slit experiment. Sorry, getting off topic here. So, the surest way to witness miracles every moment is to acknowledge every moment by being in the present.

THE HALLUCINATING HUMAN BEING

So, I was watching Bajirao Mastani last weekend and just when I was about to doze off, as the climax approached, the last scene of the movie really connected with me. Now, before some of you start to defend the movie, let me just clear the air by saying that I am not going to write a review of the movie. This article is not about that. I respect your opinions if you liked the movie (I am not intolerant, you see?) and agree with you if you think a 30 minute story was over-stretched into a 2 and half hour movie. So, let’s get to the point, shall we? Warning: Spoiler alert!

           

            In the last scene, the sick Bajirao runs in the river (I think Godavari) on seeing a cavalry approaching to kill him. The horses are running on water like it’s a small puddle and suddenly there are even flaming arrows coming from the skies. Bajirao is hit by a few of them and they light fire on water. He is also cut with swords by the men on horses. It’s real, quite real for him. He has in his hand his metallic belt like sword swaying and is fighting the cavalry but in vain. His attacks have no effect on neither the horses nor the men sitting on them. He swings his weapon on one of the enemies and the horse just passes through to an unclear destination, like the warrior in the river didn’t exist. Bajirao tries to fight and avoid the flaming arrows but they hit him but don’t really hurt him. He stops swinging after a while. At a distance, his wife, Kashi, looks at her husband swinging his sword madly at an invisible object. The whole world is peaceful except her husband. Bajirao soon realises the truth and the cavalry disappears. The arrows and the fire on the river disappear too. Bajirao is laughing. He is laughing as crazily as he was swinging his sword at, well, nothing. He’s realised the truth and that how crazy he was before. He is liberated and quite literally soon after, from life. Wouldn’t you feel liberated too? What if the job that you hate so much but have to do it every day, was a hallucination? Would this knowledge liberate you? What if the fact that your father doesn’t understand you, is just a hallucination you’ve been making real? What if your financial problems were a hallucination? What if that nagging girlfriend was a hallucination or that insecure boyfriend was? Not only your problems, the good stuff in life can be a hallucination too. That iphone worth almost half a lac (50,000), your dream house, your bank balance, the care free life that you enjoy, it’s all a hallucination.

            So why is it a hallucination? Feels pretty real, doesn’t it? It feels real to everybody else too, so how is it a hallucination? The answer to this is in the question, what’s real? Nothing is real. Nothing is absence of everything. I know it’s a basic definition and there’s nothing epiphany-like in it but have we really tried to understand this definition? Do you know when you get nothing? Alright, I’ll give you nothing right now. You ready? Just imagine this and go slow. The chair or bed that you’re sitting on isn’t there. There’s no table either. There are no walls around you. The clothes that you own, including the ones that you’re wearing right now, don’t exist. Your glasses (if you use a pair) don’t exist either. There are no bed sheets, pillows, blankets, footwear, bathroom supplies, food, trees, plants, animals, other human beings, grass, insects, birds, buildings, vehicles, not even air. There’s no Earth or other planets and satellites. This computer isn’t there either. It’s just you in this entire universe. You look around and it’s all dark, black. There’s no sense of direction or speed as there’s nothing to compare these two dimensions with. There’s a black out and that’s all there is, forever. You’re floating but you don’t know whether you’re moving or not and if you are then towards what or in which direction. Is this Nothing? No. Now, imagine that you don’t exist either. Now we have Nothing. Everything is absent, nothing is present. This is real. A blank canvas, an empty notebook. The moment you paint, the moment you write, is the second stage of hallucination. The first stage being, your existence. The moment you acknowledge your own existence, you start to hallucinate. This is so because, you start to create meaning out of your existence. Of course, you’re a baby initially so you accept the meanings that are told to you by others and as you grow, the basis of meanings created by you, are the ones that you had accepted before. Nobody is born an Indian or a Hindu or Muslim but these identities are labelled upon us and we are taught, really well, how to hallucinate. Some hallucinate about engineering, some about medicine, some about flying a plane and more. We create meanings as if they are permanent, we create rules as if they have been the governing force of all mankind, as if the ‘Gods’ want us to follow these rules. We also create a God and worship our creation as if it is our creator. It is all an hallucination.

            So, if this so and nothing is real, then how do we get out of this hallucination and reach that reality? There is just one way, death! All the great saints, sadhus and babas are aware of this hallucination but are still a part of it. This is so because we are not meant to escape this phenomenon and neither should we try to. We are meant to realise that we’re hallucinating but we can’t escape it. But the realisation does put our hearts at ease, doesn’t it? Knowing that everything around us is not real, it is all a figment of our own imagination and creation, gives us some degree of power. The fact that your partner is upset with you, is your own creation and thus you can change this fact. How? That’s a question only you can answer as it’s your creation but nothing is permanent. You create everything and you have the power to create whatever you want, it’s your blank canvas, your empty notebook. You may not know how to paint and write yet, but practice and you will be a great painter like Buddha or a great writer like Krishna, Christ or the Prophet. We call them Gods but they were all just normal humans like us, hallucinating but always aware of this fact and they created what we know about them today. They knew that they can’t escape the hallucination but what they could do was hallucinate about what they desired. And this is exactly what we need to do today. This doesn’t mean that we sit all day just imagining stuff. When you hallucinate, the hallucination is so real that it alters your actions. Therefore, whatever we desire, should reflect in our actions. If you want to be rich, your actions should be such that you’re getting richer. Rich people work hard (unless you’re Mukesh Ambani’s son) and they plan everything amongst a lot of other actions that they take. If you want to be famous, do something that makes you famous. Whatever it is that you want, take actions to hallucinate about that reality. In the end, none of it is going to last but for as long as you’re lasting, create for yourself that you wish could last forever.

THE SUPREME RELIGION

There has been growing religious intolerance in India which is a matter of high concern. It’s more of an issue about self-expression but I’ll stick to the religious front for now. So, as you can tell by the title of the post, I am going to be talking about my religion and I know that it is the most righteous and supreme religion there is. Let the judging begin!

First, let’s understand religion. A religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence (Wikipedia). Notice the use of the words beliefs and views. Since when did beliefs and views start being right or wrong? There always is a context in which a belief or a view is right and there always is a context in which they are wrong. My perception will depend on the context I place that belief or view. Thus, if I decide that a particular belief or view is wrong/right, there’s no problem with the belief or view, there’s a problem with my context. I may choose to follow/not follow a belief or view but at the same time, I need to be aware that there is always a different context in which the same belief or view must not be followed/followed. This is what my religion preaches. Also, by the given definition it is clear that religions are made to guide humanity; they are made FOR humanity and not vice-versa. This implies that if a particular custom or tradition no longer benefits the society, doesn’t advance it or make the society a healthier place to live in, then that particular custom or tradition should be done away with. It’s good to ask why; Newton did it and look where we are today. This is what my religion preaches and no, Newton isn’t my prophet. My religion asks me to listen to both sides of a story before arriving at a conclusion. It says that if I do not do away with my tradition of observing Earth only from the ground, I am never going to change my context and discover that the Earth is round and not flat. At the same time, I have to respect the person who believes the earth to be flat because he/she has never gotten off the ground.

My religion doesn’t make terrorists. I know you believe yours doesn’t either but have you really been following your religion? We all believe that terrorists are people who kill other people in the name of religion. So, are those people who kill other people in the name of cow slaughter not terrorists? People who kill other people because they ate another animal for dinner, or consumed alcohol legally not terrorists? They are all idiots (there’s a much different word for them in Hindi, starts with C). Aren’t those people idiots who choose to kill a guy and a girl just because they were holding hands, despite being of ‘different’ castes? Or worse, decided to marry each other? We all know who these people are, but there are a lot many, whom we do not know. There are a lot many who do not know themselves either. Do we understand what killing is? Death is just a step, before the last one, in the process of killing. Killing starts with desire, an intense desire to get away from a person. The second step is intention, in which desire manifests itself into a strong belief. Then comes decision, which encompasses planning, followed by action. Death follows action and the last step is to erase that person from our minds, soul and spirit, completely. If you have tried to avoid a person with a long beard, you’ve completed the first step of killing and become a terrorist. If you’ve judged a person with a turban, you’re a terrorist. If you have had any apprehensions about anybody based on their appearance, beliefs and views, you my friend, are a terrorist. I know you’re not causing death but like I explained before, smaller steps before death, lead to it. It’s good that you stop at the first step but you did take a step, didn’t you, however small it may be. A story isn’t complete unless you’ve read every word of it, however small it may be. An engine won’t work unless it has all the required parts, however small they may be. A drop will enrich an ocean, however small it may be. A negative thought will corrupt the mind, however small it may be.

Before the big bang happened, everything was collected at one singularity. After the big bang, that singularity exploded into different parts of the universe but all those parts were actually one before. The earth, moon, sun, all the asteroids, water, plants, animals, you and I, we were all one. Consider a cake is kept on a table. Looks delicious doesn’t it? You want to eat it? Go ahead cut it. Now, the piece that you’re holding, is it a different cake from the cake that’s on the table? If I cut the cake into 10 different pieces, are those 10 pieces different cakes? Now, I place each piece in a different room, have they become different yet? They are all the same cake, aren’t they? Then how are you and I different? We were all one cake billions of years ago, weren’t we? We look different because we got cut differently, or because perhaps you got the cherry on top and I didn’t. But we’re the same. There is an energy that is holding us together and it’s this energy that doesn’t let us cross the first step of killing. Sadly, some people can’t feel that energy anymore but we can all try emanating that energy towards them, can’t we? The energy called, love. And love, if is not unconditional, it’s not love, it’s a contract, an agreement. This is what my religion preaches. My religion called, Humanity.

THE EMPTY AND MEANINGLESS LIFE

Do you ever wonder how life got so complicated? Do you ever wish for simplicity in life, just like it was when we were kids? By the way kids today have a pretty complicated life themselves so, just think it over, but you get the point, right? I sometimes think about my purpose in life; how the universe is perhaps trying to teach me, train me for a better life ahead. Do you think about it too? Do you also try to understand the meaning of it all? If yes, you’re complicating life, my friend.

The day you were born, life started to become complicated. You were told you were born on a particular day of the particular month of the particular year. Who made these days, months and years? You were told that the building you were born in is called hospital. You were told that you came out of a tiny hole called a vagina. You were told that your name is this or that. You were told that going to school, respecting elders, loving one another, following etiquette, etc. is expected and is good. You were told everything. Do you remember questioning a lot of these rules as a kid? But then you stopped, because you started to make sense of it, rather, you started to get the ‘meaning’ behind all this. If there were things that couldn’t be explained with logic, you assigned the meaning of supernatural or religion to it. But everything had to have a meaning. There’s a little voice in the back of our heads that just can’t stop creating meaning out of everything. Even right now. As you’re reading this article, your little voice is asking, ‘Where is this article going?’, ‘Is the writer going to make any sense at any point at all?’, ‘What does all this mean?’, ‘What am I thinking now?’, etc.

Doesn’t your mind start racing if your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t call you when he/she is supposed to? Some of us are relieved but some are having crazy thoughts too, right? We are trying to ‘connect the dots’ like Sherlock and trying to arrive at a logical decision. Did you know that the word decision has its roots in the Latin word cide which means to kill off? So when we make a decision, we’re actually killing off all other options, all other views, all other possibilities. If one day your boss starts to treat you nicely, what does your mind say? It may say a lot of stuff but it can’t stop assigning a meaning to it. And that’s where you get all of life’s complications.

Quantum physics has proved that everything is an illusion. In many experiments it’s been found that an electron is not present where it is present, but where the scientists look for it, i.e., they saw the electron wherever they looked. On a macro level, it means that life doesn’t exhibit what’s true; it exhibits what we believe to be true. We see what we want to see, we hear what we want to hear, we feel what we want to feel and we live what we want to live. Take a second, let it sink. You would now realise that life isn’t controlling you, you’re controlling life, I mean the little voice in your head is. Terminator: The Judgment Day put it quite rightly, ‘NO FATE’ (well said James Cameron, well said). Do you see that life is what you make of it? It is what you create. You will always see the electron where you want to see it.

So what happens if the little voice in your head is no longer controlling you? I say no longer controlling because it can never shut up, unless you’re dead. So, what happens if you stop making stories, stop assuming stuff, stop trying to create meaning out of everything? What happens if you stop looking for the electron? What would you see? Think for a minute before reading further, because if you get this, you’re going to be a changed person. So, what do you see if you stop looking for the electron which appears to be wherever you try to look for it? Nothing! You see nothing. On a macro level, if you stop creating meaning out of everything, life becomes simple and simple and simple unless it comes down to Nothing. And that’s what life is, Nothing. Without self created meaning, assumptions and guesses, it indeed is nothing. Life is empty and meaningless. It sounds sad but it is actually true and the most joyous realisations of my life. Now that I know that life is empty and meaningless, I have all the space in the universe to create whatever I want to create. Of course I will listen to the little voice in my head and create meaning but I would no longer be bound by it. I would always be aware that in the end, there truly is Nothing that exists. Therefore, you are what you want to be. The meaning of life that you had been searching for all your life is yet to be created and guess who is the creator, YOU!

NAYI

Adding to the verses of the great poet Shabeena Adeeb

Khwabo mein dooba jagta raha
Neend kahin kho gayi hai
Jokhim koi bhi bada nahi
Zindagi mili nayi nayi hai

Jo sambhle hon gir kar kayi martaba
Rukna nahi wo jaante
Dekh kar baitha udaas tumhe
Chook shayad nayi nayi hai

Hain sadiyo se baithe oonchi imaarto mein jo
Hain pesh ana khoob jaante
Mizaaj apka dekh kar hai lagta
Shauhrat apki nayi nayi hai

Haatho mein haath daale chale dono
Khaamosh lab, palke jhuki hui hain
Ho rahi ulfat dilo mein unke
Abhi toh mohabbat nayi nayi hai

Suna raha tha prem kahani apni
Kis tarah tute dil ko siya hai
Beh chale do aansu palko se tumahre
Chot shayad nayi nayi hai

BENAAM

Kehte hain log jise ek ho jana
Kehte hain jise rishta purana
Jhukta jiske aage khuda tak hai
Puchha uske bando ne aye ishq, tera mazhab to batana

Dil ki kashti mein liye use chalta raha
Aya tufaan toh samandar se ladta raha
Puchhli jaat kinare ne mere khoon ki
Pyar hai kaafi, sochkar dil dhadakta raha

Zara ittila kardi hoti aye khuda
Jo banaye tune kaanoon pyar mein
Kar baitha ishq mai bin puchhe naam tak uska
Toh jana dil ka nahi, dharm ka mol hai pyar mein

Mat jao dar khuda ke tum
Jo bakshish uski thukrate ho
Kya kam hai nafrat is jahan mein
Jo laga kar bandishein pyar me
Khudko insaan batate ho

Dil mein liye pyar aaj bhi chalta hu
Naa mazhab na jaat
Na dharm kisi muskaan ka
Bin puchhe naam uska ishq aaj bhi karta hu

AYE KHUDA

Aye Khuda
Aisi bhi kismat kyu banayi
Ke ro pada tu bhi
Apni kahani jo maine sunayi

Jab bhi gira tujhey yaad kiya
Suni na tune ek meri
Kar mehnat jo chhua aasmaan
Toh kehta hai dua hai teri

Na lunga ab naam tera
Na karunga ab pooja koi
Kar sake to kar bhala mera
Agar sach mein hai khuda koi

Aye khuda
Itna gumaan sahi nahi
Ke meri takdeer toh likhdi tune
Khudki takdeer ka pata nahi

THE TRUTH

Do not dwell too deep
Discovering the secrets I keep
You may fall in love no more trusting your God
The way this world is run
If not kept an illusion
You'll find answers to questions yet asked not

An awry smile you'll bear
Which with everyone you'll share
You'll see how soulless you were before
For that enchanting feeling
Of your heart healing
Embraces as The Truth is all you implore

Do not stop your mind
Churning worries of future and behind
A spider entangled in its own web wishing to die
For to live a life of free
Close your eyes and see
The peace as you let each thought just pass by

It's in the nature of your thoughts
Seek problems and make you rot
The Truth frees you from slavery of your mind
The more you live in the now
The less to pain you bow
Not a destination,
Enlightenment is the orign you'll find

MOHABBAT-E-HARAAM

Udd se gaye rang phulon se
Jo rango mein tere nigaah sama gayi
Kar leti lihaaz mere bhi mazhab ka
Kar diya shaayrana jo urdu tu sikha gayi

Chal diya mandir ki ore
Jo yaad khuda ki agayi
Rakh liya roza maine yahan
Tu karva chauth wahan mana gayi

Kyun dhundti hai tu asmaan mein khuda
Suna hai wahan bhagwaan hai mera
Kyun jhukti hai tu masjid mein
Jaise mandir mein mai jhuka

Hijaab mein chhupta tera chehra jo dekhu
Jaise pallu mein chhupi dulhan agayi
Kehte hain log khooni hain tere bhai
Par tehzeeb duniya ko tu sikha gayi

Dhoond raha tha patharo mein jise
Ibadat wo insaan mein nazar agayi
Dekha ek baar bas nafrat na karke
Toh tu mohabbat karna sikha gayi

ARMAAN

Armaan kuch soye soye se
Jaage hain dil mein kahin
Bohot chal liya pakadke ungli
Zara gir ke chalna dekhu to sahi

Na disha ki parvah na raste ki fikar
Jo ho manzil ka suroor
Na berukhi mein jalna na zamaane ka dar
Zara jeene ka nashe mein duboon toh sahi

Armaan kuch jaage jaage se
Chalne banne manzil meri
Jo chhod ke ungli chalne laga
Toh dhokha pairo ne kabhi diya nahi

NARAZGI

Hai subah ko jagati aankhein meri
Chhidak kar pani jinme wo raat bhar doobi rahi
Socha aaj sunega kahani koi behte ashkon ki
Toh baarish ki saazish ho gayi

Jo le gaye pair sagar kinare
Doob ke dekhu zara aankho ki tarah
Jo tamanna na rahi ab jine ki
Toh maut bewafa naraz ho gayi

A HEART'S TALE

Severed and tattered, falling to bits
Teary red eyes, heart's been slit
As I gather the pieces of me off the ground
Into darkness I see a candle is lit

Afraid of deception, my everlasting friend
I caress the distance and pretend to pretend
That I'm joyous with how life has turned out to be
Wishing inside for the distance to end

O what beauty God has showered
Your glow has the desert flowered
The elixir of your smile has my heart beating
As your charm has it devoured

With hope and smile on my face
Slaved by your mesmerising grace
I follow my heart and admire your beauty
I fall in love, your dreams I crave

MUSKAAN

Ek baar jo dekha aine ko

Thi tasveer koi anjani si
Tha kaun wo khada parchhayi bana
Kahani koi sunani thi

Kaha muskurate hue usne
Kyu jaan ke anjaan ho tum
Ke aansu aur hasi, dono hi do pal ke hain
Toh chehre se muskaan kyu gum

Raat bina na din hai
Na din bina hai raat
Dono me hi khush rehna
Yahi hai sachi baat

Andhiyare mein mai kaise hasu
Puchha maine us parchhayi se
Hai behta lahu pal pal mein yahan
Bachu kaise ache bure ki ladayi se

Burai ka keher jo badh jaye
Toh achhai ubharne lagti hai
Jo achhai kabhi zada ho
Toh burai janam le leti hai

Khushi tumhari hai tumhare paas
Na kisi aur vastu na insaan mein
Zara ichha to karo muskurane ki
Hasi ka bhandaar hai is jahaan mein

Jo tum haso to duniya hase
Jo ashko mein raho to jeevan ruke
Badnaseeb hain wo jo dhunde wajah
Naseeb wale toh bewajah hase

Muskura diya jo dekha aine ko
Thi tasveer jaani pehchaani si
Tha mai hi khada parchhayi bana
Sunli kahani jo sunani thi

ONCE UPON A TIME IN IBS

I stood outside the main gate, waiting for the bus to Mehdipatnam, for one last time. Witnessing the usual approaches of cab and auto-rickshaw drivers on seeing one with some luggage, I went back in time a little to refresh my memories about the place. About what happened once upon a time in IBS.

Having being living in hostels almost my whole life, I wasn't scared about being away from home, on the contrary, I preferred it. What scared me a little was the course of MBA. Presentations, projects (a lot of them), CP, NCP and I had even heard about ACP and DCP. Being an engineer my Kryptonite was public speaking and more embarrassingly, I was one of those for whom speaking at all, to anybody, was a task in itself.
Well, there was nothing I could do about it. Having not secured a good enough job, MBA was the option left and thus here I was in E-405, getting dressed up in formals to leave for class. My first task of the day was to locate Mess-2. Pulled up my socks and on my way I went. Asking any human like figure I could find, I crossed H block, took the turns on maal road (didn't know it was called that then, but could justify the name later) and reached the mess. Now, after living in Tamilnadu for 4 years, if you're offered idli, AGAIN, for breakfast, you must think your life sucks. Mine did too, and I left for class directly hoping to get better lunch. Once again, through some aid, I reached acads block and found my class, LT-F. The letters 'LT' made me think I was in some Harvard or Oxford where there would be all serious and extremely studious students sitting alongside me and a teacher with a gazillion degrees who would like to call himself an academician more than a simple teacher, would enter and begin teaching right away. C'mon, I loved introductions class where no would teach or study and you get to know the names of girls/guys you would like to be...err..friends...yes friends with. But to my good surprise, a few students sitting in the class didn't seem how I had thought. They looked like normal Indian kids waiting for a teacher to come start teaching the daily math and science. I found an empty seat, away from everyone, and occupied it. I found they were all chatting but not sitting together, why? Wait, does the number 65 signify something? Is it my seat number? Perhaps, because there are numbers written in front of the tables. So, I occupied the seat number 65. To my left sat a chubby girl. But we didn't talk. In fact I didn't talk to anybody in the class much.

The classes started and I realised it was no Harvard. It was a normal college trying to imitate Harvard and well, not being able to. But it had its ups too. The projects in all the subjects gave me amazing friends, the chubby girl with whom I had had a real conversation only because an exercise in PEL made us do so and through that exercise we got to know a lot about each other. Destiny's way of bringing people together. And today she's one of the most important friends in my life but she's not so chubby anymore. The people sitting around me then, became my best friends and I think they always will be through the ups and downs we've had and may have. Met people through all the classes, we all had something in common. We either liked cursing the teacher and/or the subject or would just like each other. The way we wished to be in the same class at the end of first semester and we actually ended up together (From section B to M), with a few exceptions ofcourse. Then started the frenzy over seat numbers. I had got 9 after being in 65 the previous semester. God, I invented some new cuss words over that. I never failed to blame my seat number for getting bad grades. And eventually, I learnt to live with them, so much that all I wanted in all the tests was a C and getting a B called for a celebration.
Then the first year ended with the beginning of the internship. The era of mini placements where some of us were pushed into some internships forcefully by 'u-know-who'. I guess all of us escaped that too? How we missed the college during the middle of our internship and then missed the internship during the middle of college. The talks about presentations, guide visits, then the grading system they followed would always be remembered. The grading criteria was epic!

As the second year began, so began our specializations and the big daddy, PLACEMENTS. MBA became like another year in engineering where we bunked classes at will, seldom thought about CP and NCP. DCP and ACP were losing their sheen and so was our attendance. Having more than 85% attendance became a new taboo. Projects were done solely because we didn't want an F. Our way of preparing for presentation had taken a complete u-turn. Remember how we used to meet a week in advance and even spend a few days rehearsing the presentation? Atleast I did. And now, all I needed was an hour to collect the data I had to present. I would have no idea what others would be saying, and in one instance I didn't know who the other presenters were. That's how IBS transformed me. I learnt public speaking. I learnt that fear is just a state of mind and if you present the same project for 2 semesters in various subjects, with the confidence of Arnab Goswami, you're well on your way to becoming a smart manager. But more than academics, extra-curricular activities played an important part. Nobody knew who I was untill I joined Xpressionz as a script writer. Well, my script writing didn't do any wonders, but being a member of Xpressionz I was offered a role in Suits, the biggest hit of IBS till date. I played Minor Moon and that's what I was called henceforth by all. Facing Major Chand became a problem though! Biggest thanks to the whole team for that.

Gradually, everything passed, I got placed, many of my friends got placed, we partied and realised our time was coming to an end. Our actions and inactions were now driven by that fact. Many acquaintances became friends, some friends became acquaintances but that's how life has always been and will be. We need to go along with everything and that's what we did in the last few days in IBS, Hyderabad. 17th Feb was the last day I visited the city, the usual places. And as I was coming back, I realised, this is the last time I'm going back to IBS from the city, the last time, I'm ENTERING the campus, the last time the security guard's gonna frisk me and the last time I can be inside and be a student for one more day, just one more.

On the last day, 18th Feb, I had to leave by 6.30. So I began my tour of the whole campus. But this time it was not for all the beautiful girls I could check out, but capture the memories of the place for one last time. To check out what I had not untill now or even if I had, I had not really appreciated it. The hostel buildings with ancient lifts, the area in front of ABCD block, G block area, clinic area and the area beyond that. The last stretch of road at the end of the campus joining the acads block. The reading room and the library - a first year's second home in IBS. I have a lot of memories there. Nothing would be forgotten, the dhabas, Narender, peacock, loventilla, nothing at all. Not even Shankarpally, our Hyderabad city when we felt lazy and financially weak or needed a short quick break.

I stood outside the main gate, waiting for the bus to Mehdipatnam, for one last time. I knew I had to move on to give meaning to my time spent in IBS. I had to move on to show the world why I missed IBS and no matter how it is, it teaches you how to live and that life is one in a million. But still, before the bus could arrive I turned and looked back at the campus. There was a different world inside and I wasn't a part of it anymore. I kept capturing every detail I could untill a little drop of tear fell below my eye and a big lump chocked my throat.

I got the ticket to Mehdipatnam for one last time.

ZINDAGI

Kabhi ghulam hai zindagi

Kabhi badnaam hai zindagi
Katputli hai tere man ki ye toh
Badi nadaan hai zindagi

Kabhi ojhal hai aansuon ke tale
Kabhi kuchh sapne ye bunte chale
Kabhi registaan to kabhi hai nadi
Dil ka aina hai zindagi

Isse tujhey pyar hai kabhi
Kabhi tu hai kaatil iska
Hokar teri kabhi, sirf teri nahi
Sune ye dil ki, aur dil kisi aur ka

Kabhi bekaar hai zindagi
Kabhi lachaar zindagi
Kabhi hai ek ugta suraj
Kabhi ek laash hai zindagi

Hai ek paheli ye toh
Jiski suljhan me bas uljhan hai
Jis pal ho man me bas pyar ki ladi
Wo chhota sa pal hai zindagi