I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

There are some things
Which can bring
Closeness or distances between us
So I don't know
What actions to show
That don't make me a cuss

The bitter words that you hear
Come only out of fear
Of letting you guess how I feel
Because the bond that we share
Is very pure and rare
And if broken, will never heal

The smile that you carry
Makes the sun less glary
It may change if I pour my heart out
So let things the way they are
I'll hide what's in my heart
And our friendship will never be in doubt

There are some things
Which I wish do bring
Only closeness between us
So I want to know
What'll make you glow
Because I love you so much

AAGAAH

Dil ki baat batana nahi
Hothon pe unko lana nahi
Chahe bahe rag rag me aansu
Aankho pe unko sajaana nahi

Nahi hai koi aisa jag mein
De apna diya tumhe shab mein
Waade karne waale to hain
Nibhane ka saahas nahi hai sab mein

Kaid kar rakho dil ko apne
Ye udta panchhi hai sankat mein
Ye kya jaane sholay aur kaante
Dikhta hai khuda ise patthar mein

Ummeed kisise rakhna nahi
Har shaant nadi hai ghatak jharna kahin
Baato pyar, suno sunao kisse iske
Lekin is dariye me padna nahi

TUM HO TOH

Na rahi aisi pyas koi

Jisme tera ehsaas nahi

Ek boond tere khayal ki

Jannat mera man, khuda hai wahin

Na rahi aisi subah koi

Jisme teri muskaan nahi

Tasvir tere har lafz ki

Wahi hain geet, geeta hain wahi

Na rahi aisi chaah koi

Teri khushiyan jiski buniyad nahi

Jhalak teri pariyon si

Shayad sach hain kahaniya, khuda hai kahin

FORGIVE

Stop being fake

From your slumber awake
Touch the impalpable feelings inside
Look me in the eye
As you say good bye
I've forgiven you, for the mistake you'll never realize

Don't push me away
You need me to stay
You may think I intend something impure
I am a little part of your life
That you've kept aside
But I am not a disease, I'm a cure


I made you feel secure
You wanted me more

You're no less than a prize

My intentions are sane
Purer than rain

So I've forgiven you, for the mistake you'll never realise

DIRT

At the risk of sounding philosophical:
Browsing through Facebook, I came across a lot of status updates about how deceiving, dishonest, untrustworthy, etc, people are these days. All of them were coherent in their thoughts of wanting to live only for themselves from 'now on' and that they don't need anybody 'now'. They have been cheated on and their trust has been broken in some way and thus they have, most probably, jumped to conclusions about what they need to do from 'now on' or 'now'.

But what if even they have done similar stuff to someone else? What if they, you and me are all guilty of such deeds? Thinking on these lines a thought (in the form of a poem) came to my mind, which is there at the end of this post. Is there anybody who's not dirty? If yes, you can stop right here, if no, then what happens next?

dhaaga chahe jo ho
maila to har kapda hai
par dekh kripa us nadiya ki
kaise har mail ko vo pive hai

maila kahan hai ye kapda
maila to wo daag hai
jo badh jave roop iska
to wo kapda jag ko tyag hai


According to me:
No matter who the person is, everybody has been on the wrong side of the things sometime in his/her life.
But there is some universal power that cleans us of all that dirt and makes us anew.

It's not the individual that is dirty,
it's his/her deeds that are (this thought first came to Gandhiji but really, I haven't taken it from him)
but if such deeds increase beyond a limit,
it's not the deeds that are abandoned by the world, it's the person that is.

So if I feel I should live and think only for myself, then I am abandoning this world, or am I really?

LIVING - II

Wait for the sunrise sometime
Before it golds everything it finds
The moment just before dawn
Isn't that the darkest time?

Bury a seed deep in the ground
And go about doing your chores around
Doesn't that tiny plant of life shatters
The mighty earth, to leave you astound?

Go to a shore when the tide is high
Divided by husky rocks, never left dry
There's a passion in waves to meet the moon
Don't they fight the rocks, till they die?

Watch the rich as they laugh and smile
As they eat and drink being guile
Now look beyond wealth into their hearts
Are they really happy, or have riles in piles?

So stop for a moment, take out some time
Breath a little, watch nature's mimes
If you feel tired, sad, depressed or scared
Open up your heart and reread this rhyme

Here's LIVING - I

TUM JO AAYE ZINDAGI MEIN

तुम जो आये ज़िंदगी में
बेरंग दुनिया की साद्गी में
जैसे भरे हैं रंग सूरज की किरणें
तुम्ही से तो है सूरज ज़िंदगी में

तुम जो आये ज़िंदगी में 
मज़ा सा है अब जीने में
किसी चित्रकार का सपना हो जैसे
तुम सपनो में, सपने तुम्ही से

तुम जो आये ज़िंदगी में 
नज़रों में मेरी, मेरी हर ख़ुशी में
तुम्ही से है हर फूल बेखुदी में
जो फेर्लो नज़रें तो है ये जहां बेरुखी में

तुम जो आये ज़िंदगी में 
खोया सा हूँ अब आवार्गी में
क्या जियेंगे वो  जिनके पास है खुदा
जीना तो है तब जब तुम हो ज़िंदगी में 

A LITTLE PART - II

Live your world the way you like
I'm a little part of your life
I want to be when no one is
To keep you smiling and in bliss

Maybe you'd never know
Maybe I'd never show
That our worlds are not apart
Because we live in each others' hearts

There's something I want to say
That we'll never part ways
When the clouds begin to tear
Don't be afraid, I'll always be there

When your eyes rain more than clouds
When no one hears your cries so loud
I'll wipe your tears off your heart
And play my little part

Here's A Little Part - I

फिरसे प्यार आया है

फिरसे कोई चेहरा छाया है
देखके जिसे मन मुस्कुराया है
किसीने फिर दिल धड्काया है
आज फिरसे किसीपे प्यार आया है

जो हर रोज़ पुरानी यादों में
खो कर बीती बातों में
रोती उन आँखों में
बसा है कोई दिल की सलाखों में

फिरसे समझ आतीं हैं
बातें जो अधूरी रेह जातीं हैं
मेरी आँखें डूब जातीं हैं
जो उसकी मुस्कानों की लहरें आतीं हैं

आज फिरसे दिल किसीका घुलाम है
इस्पे फिर किसीका नाम है
बदलने का मीत को प्रीत में फिर ख्याल आया है
आज फिरसे किसीपे प्यार आया है

A LITTLE PART

Tell me what's in your heart
Let me play a little part
In your life of smiles and fears
Let me wipe away your tears

Laugh away your grief with me
Share your world, let me see
Serene beauty of your mind
Giving light to the blinds

On my shoulder rest your head
Don't you worry, don't you dread
Just pour your smiles in everything you do
I'll take care of the rest, and you

If no words you find
To speak out your mind
Your eyes will speak for your heart
And let me play my little part

YOU

My quickest creation ever :D...

You, a stream of bliss
You, an angelic kiss
You, sorrow's pyre
You, what gods desire

You, a poem of love
You, a bird like dove
You, an ecstasy in spring
You, all heavens you bring

You, a baby's laugh
You, a mother's scarf
You, a butterfly's wings
You, what a cuckoo sings

You, the queen of charms
You, enemy of harms
You, what they call pure
You, the one I adore

यादें

क्यूँ यादें हैं अब भी बाकी
बिखरी हुई पंखुड़ियां जैसे
सूखी हुई, रौंदी हुई
आसुओं के तले
जब साथ नहीं है बाकी

क्यूँ उनके लिए धड़कता है दिल 
जो तोड़ देते हैं इसको
छोड़ कर, मूह मोड़ कर
खरौन्च्के ज़ख्मों को
फिर भी क्यूँ प्यार करता है दिल

कहते हैं
वक़्त भुला देता है सारे ग़म
सूख जाते हैं सारे आंसू
पर उनके दिए आसूं और ग़म हैं ऐसे
के वक़्त और हम साथ रोते हैं 

मेरी परी

ना खोल ये काली ज़ुल्फें
सूरज धक् जायेगा
देख कर जादू इनका
शराब को नशा सा चढ़ जायेगा

ना देख तू इस तरह से
के तुझे प्यार ना करना गुनाह सा लगे
जो मिल जाएँ मेरी निगाह तुझसे
तो जीना जीना सा लगे

ना मुस्कुरा तू यूं शरमाके
के भ्रम और असलियत में भेद ना हो पाए
ना उठा ये चेहरा आसमां की ओर
कहीं खुदा धरती पे ना आजाये

बस थाम ले मेरा हाथ तू
दिल अब और कुछ ना चाहे
ये तो मुझमे होकर भी मेरा नहीं
बस तू मेरी हो जाये  

LIVING

A thornless rose
Is a fake prose
The redful beauty
Is blood's duty

An unburied seed
Would never breed
Earth shattering innocent hopes
Through darkness of ages
Rise true sages
Unwatering stealthy, greedy slopes

A tearless eye
Is never dry
Laden with hidden guilt and pain
A cheerful face
Full of grace
Shows off the barrenness of rain

A sorrowless life
One with no strife
Degrades the value of giving
Betrayals and threats
All the dirty secrets
Are true essence of living

तेरी झलक के छीटे

wrote this more than a year back:

तेरी झलक के छीटे
पड़े जब आँखों पे
सागर की लेहरे बढ़ जाएँ
बातें करूँ गुलाबों से

तितलियों की तरह
तेरे पीछे भागूं
फूल है तू मेरा
कैसे जियूँगा तेरे मुरझाने से

रातों से है अब यारी
दिन दिखाए बस सपने
दिल में खिले फुलवारी
तेरा खयाल तक आजाने से

दिल तो था ही पागल
दिमाग का भी अब ठिकाना नहीं
छाया तुम्हारे हुस्न का बदल
खुदा की बक्शीश हो जैसे

मन्नतें है सब अधूरी
धन गुण ज्ञान न चाहूँ

बस कैद करले प्यारी

अपने दिल की सलाखों से

SOMETIMES

Rain isn't as palpable sometimes

As the tears it washes away
Bringing memories benign
Reminding how love preys

In every drop a moment exists
But you know not what to do
To let go, or to persist
On being someone you know is not you

Sometimes a shiver isn't as cold
As some cold-hearted people in the world
You don't know, until they unfold
That side which makes your heart hurl

There's a warmth in every hug
A warmth that's just a bluff
And all your life your heart you lug
Because sometimes, love isn't enough.

खुदा की प्रेरणा

खयालो में तुम्हारे

मै झूल जाता हूँ

खुबसूरत हो इतनी

के तुम्हे देख के

तुम्हारी तारीफ करना ही भूल जाता हूँ

शब्द बोल पाते नहीं

बातें जो होती हैं आँखों से

मूंदुं जो ऑंखें

ख़याल तुम्हारे

झलकते हैं लबों पे

मोहब्बत का हर किस्सा

अब प्यारा लगता है

जो भी है मेरा

अब

हमारा लगता है

परियो की खूबसूरती

अब फीकी लगती है

कैसे बनाये खुदा खूबसूरती

जब उसकी प्रेरणा

अब धरती पर बस्ती है 

LIFE AND ENGINEERING

It was 2008, second week of July when the new batch of to be manufactured engineers arrived in VIT, but we had no idea we would actually learn and grow here. Well, not all of us learnt engineering but we all did learn a lot about people, friends and life itself. Perhaps we all can agree that no matter how exhausting and frustrating that IT assignment was in second semester, or how impossible it seemed to learn Math from Vijayaragavan in the first, we did overcome all that. We are not gonna miss our college, but the elements that made it up. Our friends, the areas of the campus and hostels and the times we spent doing what seemed bakchodi then but one of the most memorable and precious parts of our lives now.

During the orientation I was told that my classes would be held at SJT. And it turned out be some task to find it. There were no boards leading to it, nor did anybody I asked for directions knew where it was. There wasn’t even a proper road or footpath back then due to the ongoing construction. The tunnel was just a dream back then for the boys in L block. But curse and yell was all we could do and boy, we did add some new words to our vocabulary!

Then came the labs. I hated the chemistry one, but it was Physics that made me walk out of one of the lab exams with just my name on the paper. And that did teach me a lesson. No matter how badly you screw your CATs (no pun intended) a night’s study before the term-end is all it takes to a C, given that the examiner is not hammered. As for the chemistry lab, I had to take it up twice because of the irrational rule which made it compulsory to do your lab too if you failed theory. Yeah, that reminds me, VIT taught me what failure feels like. Not once or twice, but I got to learn that lesson five fucking times.

We accepted the fact that our batch has been a bunch of guinea pigs since school. We became the first batch of FFCS or which was also known as FCFS till recently when our juniors defied boundaries (literally) by sleeping in academic buildings. But enough about them. According to FFCS we couldn’t register a subject unless we study its prerequisite. And we all know this rules was never broken, neither in the third semester nor in the sixth.

But all that has passed and so have we. What didn’t kill us made us stronger. After living in Vellore, the place with only three seasons, hot, hotter and hottest, we can live anywhere in the world, take in all the tormenting and come out smiling. We don’t need an official CR to lead us, we can and have stepped up for ourselves and one of our teachers would even testify. Engineering was never our priority. No course ever is. We came together to learn to live and co-exist and now it’s gonna be hard to exist without each other, but we’re engineers, there’s no stopping us. Even lord Ram needed one of our types.

So, let’s get those cams out and also ourselves and try reliving those four years because it’s been a wonderful journey. We may have not learnt what engineering was supposed to teach us but we surely have learnt what life did.

A STUDENT'S KRYPTONITE

I spent four years trying to understand the significance of treating students as lambs and teachers as shepherds. Well, corrupted shepherds of course. And what I understood is that there's nothing to understand. Authorities may continue to speculate modern classrooms as ancient ashrams but that doesn't change the fact that teachers today are no Valmikis or Vyass and no student is an Eklavya or an Aruni. There are exceptions of course and in such cases, the speculative student-teacher relationship need not be enforced; it builds up by itself.

It just feels wrong when a teacher repeats what the books say but behaves as if it's their own hard work of million years, by yelling and mocking students. Whatever happened to, "learning is a two way concept" and "teaching is learning twice".

A teacher's entry in a classroom has become synonymous for dozing time for me. He/she is like an agent armed with notes, mostly digital these days, an authority and the most powerful weapon, the attendance register. No matter how hard you're hit by the sleep bullet, you have to cut off your eye lids or risk being killed by shortage of attendance, a student's Kryptonite. Wouldn't it be a lot better if teachers and students were more like friends? Because c'mon, we all have that one teacher who we all know, including himself/herself, needs more tutorship than his/her students. And the true, learned teachers might become the best friends we ever had with their moral support and guidance.

If colleges really want to create intelligent and independent professionals, how about some independence from the learning stage. Sure we'll screw up but it's the screwing up today that helps you make up a "screwed-up"less future. 

IMMORTAL - II

Rest, don't sleep when tired

Burn, don't die when pyred
Not the ones to give up challenges
But the one to take up are admired

Bleed, don't plead when bruised
Learn, don't cry when used
You may get cut, get stuck in a rut
But you're strong enough to come out amused

Prepare, not scared when storms you see
No matter how big the challenge, don't flee
Leave a mark behind, before death you find
And I promise, immortal you will be

Link to Immortal - I

आँखों में झील

रात के अंधियारे में

सन्नाटा जब छाता है
आँखों में सजी झील से
कुछ नीर कम हो जाता है

मूँद कर आंखें जो रोकूँ इसे
आँखों का बाँध टूट जाता है
गंगोत्री अश्कों की प्यार में
ऑंखें नहीं दिल बन जाता है

जो घर था खुशियों का
हर बूँद में वो पल है
जलता है अब आग सा
एक परी का महल है


उस नीर के सूख जाने पे
काश दिल में प्यार भी सूख जाये
आँखों में सजी झील से
कुछ और नीर ना कम हो पाए 

CHANGE

All we need is a change sometimes
A break, a void from our daily crimes

When the stinking carcass of love
That we didn't deserve
Rots amidst lacerated hearts
Look within your soul
Abusing a gifted control
Perhaps there still lie purer parts

On no food we feed
Driven by our greed
Wealth the new deity in Godtown
With betrayal the new blood
Killing is a cud
We do it easy, with no frown

But karma is a bitch
Pushes you into a ditch
Like a buffoon you start to wonder
What went wrong
It was merry all along
And you blame Him for your blunder

But our soul has a sinless side
Something we all like to hide
If only we uncap its shine
Acknowledge the beauty so sublime
Because all we need is a change sometimes
A break, a void from our daily crimes

ख़याल

बस एक ख़याल है मन में

क्यूँ होता है ये जग में
ख़ुशी के बाद ग़म का साया
ना जाने कहाँ से आया


मुस्कान तो मैंने बाटी थी
चाहे मन में मेरे उदासी थी
फिर क्यों अंधियारे रिश्ते में
क्यों बस अनसु मेरे हिस्से में


बस एक ख़याल है मन में
क्यूँ बस्ता है कोई दिल में
जब बिछड़ना लिखा होता है
क्यों हर दिल कभी टूटा होता है

मुझ भगवान् को बसाओ मन में
उलझे रस्ते खुलेंगे जग में
ग़म ने ही तो सिखाया है
के ख़ुशी मेरे प्यार का साया है


किसीको मुस्कान देते हो
तो उसका मोल क्यों लेते हो
चाहते हो जो हर्ष का साथ
मूंदो आँखें, थामो मेरा हाथ


वो दिल टूट जायेगा
जो मुझे नहीं बसाएगा
और जो मुझे बसाएगा
वो हर दिल में बस जायेगा

हर गुनाह तुम्हारा माफ़
हर दाग तुम्हारा साफ़
बस जो ख़याल है तुम्हारे मन में
बदलो उसे मुझमे

I STILL LOVE YOU

ग़म से बातें

Nobody wants to be sad, but this relationship with grief is such that cannot be done away with. And that's what grief says in the first 3 verses. But it's not that its impact cannot be reduced. We can deal with it and that's explained in the last 3 verses.

क्यूँ उदास उदास हो तुम

चेहरे से मुस्कान क्यूँ गुम

मैं ग़म जो साथी हूँ तुम्हारा

कोई दे ना दे मैं दूंगा सहारा

पल भर की खुशियों में

क्यूँ डूब जाते हो

फिर चोट खाने से

मेरे ही गीत गाते हो

कोस लो तुम मुझे

लेकिन ऐसा रिश्ता है हमारा

वो दिया कभी न बुझे

जिसकी लौ में आंसू हो तुम्हारा

ग़म तुम्हे ज़माना कहता है

लेकिन प्यार के साथी हो तुम

हर राह तुम्हारा लहू बहता है

हर दिल के निवासी हो तुम

ख़ुशी से उतना प्यार नहीं

जितना तुमसे दर है

मिलते हो अक्सर वहीँ

ख़ुशी का जहाँ सब्र है

साथ तुम्हारा सदा न होगा

खुशियों के गीत गाने से

बुझेगा आंसुओं का दिया

चेहरे पे मुस्कान लाने से

LOVE

In a crowd of billions

You live in oblivion
No glance, no voice
Has touched you yet
An aura you see
Your heart skips a beat
A gift, an angel
From God you get

You're dreaming all day
Then taking the wrong way
You turn around
With a blissful smile
You wonder what just happened
How a meaning life's gotten
And you procrastinate for a while

There's a smile on your face
When it shouldn't be
Your eyes do all the talking
There's music in your ears
And all you fear
Is love
Away from you walking

It touches your soul
Your heart takes a roll
You know your life's
Not just yours anymore
You do what you thought
Was a lunatic's job
And you find that love
Has changed you to core